Wednesday 7 September 2011

Book ~ "Complete Without Kids: An Insider's Guide to Childfree Living by Choice or by Chance" (2011) Ellen L. Walker

From Amazon ~ In Complete Without Kids, Licensed Clinical Psychologist Ellen L. Walker examines the often-ignored question of what it means to be childfree, by choice or by circumstance, in a family-focused society. Recognizing that there is no one childfree adult, the author guides the reader through the positive and negative aspects of childfree living, taking into consideration the different issues faced by men or women, couples or singles, whether gay or straight. As a woman who is childfree by choice, Walker draws upon her personal experience while also offering the reader numerous interviews with other childfree adults, revealing behind-the-scenes factors that influenced their personal journeys. She approaches the tough-decision making process of whether or not to have children from a biological, historical, and societal perspective, offering valuable information on:

  • The unique set of problems that childfree adults face simply due to living in a culture that celebrates babies and traditional families
  • Methods to cope with the pressure to have children from media, family, and friends in a healthy way
  • How to create balance and approach the leisure time allowed by a childfree lifestyle
  • Financial, health, and personal benefits associated with childfree living.

Offering support, guidance, and thought-provoking questions, Complete Without Kids is a productive guide for any reader considering the childfree path.

This was an interesting book ... I enjoyed it.

I've always known that I didn't want kids. When I was 30, I chose to do something about it ... and I've never regretted it. I don't feel like I missed out on anything.

I was the oldest of three kids and it fell to me quite often when I was growing up that I was taking care of my brother and sister. So in a way, I feel like I've already raised kids and experienced that responsibility, thanks!

When I told my mother many years ago that I wasn't going to have kids, she said I was being selfish. If I'm being selfish in choosing not to bring unwanted kids into the world then I guess I was and still am. But I'm okay with that.

I love having my freedom to do what I want. Life is too short not to. One of the stats in the book says that parents of two kids devote 7.5 hours a day taking care of their kids. I choose to spend those 7.5 hours a day doing as I choose instead.

I've unconsciously surrounded myself with people who don't have kids ... most of my friends don't have any or they are older and on their own.

I have my kitties ... they are my kids and my life is complete with them.


JAIRO said...

stopping by here :)

Angie in T.O. said...

I've been told that I was selfish for not having kids too. I don't agree. I think it's selfish to have babies just because you can, when you don't really want them, can't really afford them or have no clue how to deal with them.

We don't have children by choice too, and don't regret it. Being an Aunt and having a couple close friends with children is enough for me.

Darlene said...

I've known since I was a kid that I never wanted kids. I babysat enough of them as a teenager to know that was a fact.

It's funny--no one has ever told me that they think I'm selfish for not wanting kids. But when they ask why, I tell them honestly that I think I'd be a lousy parent, so maybe that's it!

Teena in Toronto said...


It's funny that people would use the word "selfish", isn't it?

"Selfish" because we don't want to have kids to keep the world going? Lots of people have having more than enough kids to do that.

"Selfish" because we choose to spend our time as we want rather than devoting it unhappily to kids?

Teena in Toronto said...

Dar: You're an amazing mom to kitties :)

Teresa said...

Worst thing to me is having a child or children that are not wanted.

Feisty Crone said...

wow, good for you! My parents were cool, no pressure at all. I had my son when I was 24, knew that was it, and had a procedure in my early 30s (and never regretted it).

Isabel said...

I don't get why people would call you selfish for not wanting to have children. It's not for everybody.

However, you are an awesome mom to your furbabuies. :)

Anonymous said...

I thought I wanted kids when I was very young but then my sis had twins so at age 18 I quickly learned what it was like, as we helped her all the time.
So then I chose NOT to have my own and yes, was either blatantly PITIED(in spite of me obviously being happy) or else told I was leading a selfish life.
I love kids but am perfectly happy not to have any...

Tatiana said...

I'm facing enormous family pressure right now to have children by my family and am really struggling with whether I will or not. It's quite hard and I'm leaning towards no. I should get that book, and am glad there are other child-free people out there.