Saturday, 22 November 2025

Book ~ "The Hitwoman and the Neurotic Witness" (2013) J.B. Lynn

From Goodreads ~ When her apartment building is blown to smithereens, bumbling hitwoman Maggie Lee is forced to move back into the bed & breakfast she grew up in.

Living with her three meddling aunts is bad enough but it just so happens that the B&B is also occupied by a U.S. Marshal, an FBI agent, her old friend Zeke who’s on a mysterious mission, and a woman who claims she can see dead people. These aren’t the kinds of roomies Maggie wants to spend time with, considering that in order to pay for her niece’s medical care she supplements her income by killing people.

​Maggie avoids arrest and deals with a crazier-than-usual home life while trying to track down exactly who is blowing up the holdings of various crime families. To make matters worse, she’s walking a precarious tightrope between keeping her mobster bosses happy and protecting her murder mentor (and almost lover) Patrick Mulligan.

​Aided by the warped predictions of her semi-psychic friend, her sarcastic, demanding talking lizard and an always ravenous dyslexic Doberman, Maggie juggles keeping secrets, unraveling riddles and protecting those she loves. Can she do it all? Or will she suffer yet another unspeakable loss?

When Maggie was recently in a car accident, her sister and brother-in-law were killed and Katie, her three-year-old niece and goddaughter, was left in a coma. Maggie works in the call centre of an insurance company and doesn't have the kind of money it takes to keep Katie in the high end hospital she needs to be in. To supplement her income, she has become a reluctant hit woman for a mob boss. 

When Maggie's apartment explodes, she ends up moving back into the bed and breakfast where she grew up, which is currently full with her three aunts, two law-enforcement officers, her sister and Gypsy, a guest who insists she can see dead people. Businesses owned by her mob boss are getting bombed and he suspects police officer Patrick, Maggie's mentor and crush, may be involved so he wants her to kill him. Maggie can't believe Patrick is involved so sets out to find out who is.

This is the fifth in the Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman series (#52 is coming out next month) and I thought it was okay, not as good as the first four. I wouldn't recommend it as a stand alone and you should read the first four first as there are many references in this one that will make more sense if you have the background. I read the first four in February and March (so it's been a while) and it took a while to remember the back stories because they aren't really provided. For example, it's mentioned that Maggie's friend, Armani, is disabled but it's not until further along that we find out how it happened. Or you don't really have Maggie's sister, Marlene's history.

It's written in first person perspective in Maggie's voice and was humourous at times. I had my doubts about this series when I discovered Maggie can now carry on conversations with Godzilla aka God, Katie's tiny lizard, who Maggie takes care of until Katie recovers, DeeDee, a dog she took in when she killed her owner, and Miss Piss, the cat. It sounds dumb but they are amusing and good friends and confidents to Maggie. I'll carry on and keep reading the series.

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