Book ~ "The Hitwoman and the 7 Cops" (2014) J.B. Lynn

From Goodreads ~All reluctant hitwoman Maggie Lee really wants is to have a calm, normal life.

She doesn’t want to go around killing people for money.

She doesn’t want her sister to be terrified of her ex-pimp.

She doesn’t want her Dad to disappear from the Witness Protection program.

But Maggie rarely gets what she wants.

Instead, she finds herself trying to keep everyone out of trouble.

With the help of her ragtag team of supporters: her semi-psychic friend, a handsome, charming con man, her almost-lover cop/hitman mentor, her curious Southern Belle cat, her haughty lizard, and her sweet, but dumb Doberman, Maggie does her best to stay a step ahead of Law Enforcement, while helping those she loves.

​But will Maggie end up being the one who needs to be saved?

When Maggie was in a car accident, her sister and brother-in-law were killed and Katie, her niece and goddaughter, was left in a coma, which she has come out of but is still in the hospital. Maggie works in the call centre of an insurance company and doesn't have the kind of money it takes to keep Katie in the high end hospital she needs to be in. To supplement her income, she has become a reluctant hit woman for a mob boss. 

Maggie has a lot of police officers hanging around her. They looking for her dad, who has vanished from witness protection and they assume she knows something, which she doesn't. Because the police are everywhere, Maggie can’t take on any hitwoman jobs. Meanwhile Marlene, her sister, is dealing with her own dangerous mess as her former pimp says she owes him money. Her Aunt Loretta is about to lose her store because her ex-husband is claiming he owns the building so they must find the deed to prove it's hers.

This is the seventh in the Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman series (#52 is coming out next month). It's written in first person perspective in Maggie's voice. I had my doubts about this series when I discovered Maggie can now carry on conversations with Godzilla aka God, Katie's tiny lizard, who Maggie takes care of until Katie recovers, DeeDee, a dog she took in when she killed her owner, and Miss Piss, the cat. It sounds dumb but they are amusing and good friends and confidents to Maggie.

I wouldn't recommend it as a stand alone and you should read the first ones first as there are many references in this one that will make more sense if you have the background. I had read the first four in the spring and really enjoyed them. This is the third one I've read in the last couple of weeks and I'm not digging them all that much. This was the worst of the three. 

The writing style has never been amazing but the stories were okay. The editing (or lack of) in this book was atrocious. In the beginning, there were references to Teresa, Maggie's sister and Katie's mother who had been killed in a car accident. Given that it's book seven, you'd think the author would know it's "Theresa" not "Teresa" ... later in the book it's correct as "Theresa". Very sloppy. Another example is when Maggie spent the day with God and at one point he almost got stepped on. Just a few minutes later Maggie goes to her basement apartment and God's freaking out because he's been cooped up all day and missing the action. Huh?!

I had intended to keep reading the series but I'm going to take a break ... and I don't know if I'll ever come back.

"A Very Old Man With Enormous Wings", The Theatre Centre, Toronto, ON

I volunteered at A Very Old Man With Enormous Wings tonight at The Theatre Centre (Queen Street W/Dovercourt Road). It was playing last night and tonight. It was imaginative and entertaining. The last performance is tomorrow evening.

Gabriel García Márquez’s darkly comic tale, brought to the stage for children and adults to share.

In a kitchen, in a theatre, two storytellers and their audience find something remarkable — a very old man with enormous wings. The wise neighbour woman tells us he’s an angel. The priest says he’s an imposter. Pilgrims flock to see him, hoping to be healed by him, hoping for a gawp. They leave with something different than what they expected.

Adapted from Gabriel García Márquez’s ‘Un señor muy viejo con unas alas enormes,’ Collapsing Horse brings this classic piece of magical realism to the stage in search of its beautiful, strange, emotional richness.

"Spycraft", The Theatre Centre, Toronto, ON

I volunteered at Spycraft this afternoon at The Theatre Centre (Queen Street W/Dovercourt Road). It was an interesting story, especially if you enjoy history and knitting, which I do. The last performance is tomorrow evening.

Knitted beanies

I knitted these 11 beanies over the last couple weeks to donate. I used a Caron Anniversary Cake Special Edition (the colour is Gingerbread Forest). I like how the colour changes worked, resulting in big chunks of colour rather than shorter bursts.

I found the pattern here and it was an easy pattern. 

I don't have a small 5.5mm circular needle so used 6.5mm so it's a bit bigger than a beanie and fits like a comfy hat.

With A and circular needles, cast on 80 sts. Place marker, join being careful not to twist sts.

• Rounds 1-8: Work in 2x2 Rib stitch pattern until beanie measures 2” (5 cm) from cast-on edge
• Rounds 9-22: Knit around

Shape Crown

• Round 1: Knit. 
• Round 2 (dec): *K6, K2tog; repeat from * around — 70 sts. 
• Round 3: Knit. 
• Round 4 (dec): *K5, K2tog; repeat from * around — 60 sts. 
• Round 5: Knit. 
• Round 6 (dec): *K4, K2tog; repeat from * around — 50 sts. 
• Round 7: Knit. 
• Round 8 (dec): *K3, K2tog; repeat from * around — 40 sts. 
• Round 9: Knit. 
• Round 10 (dec): *K2, K2tog; repeat from * around — 30 sts. 
• Round 11: Knit. 
• Round 12 (dec): *K1, K2tog; repeat from * around — 20 sts. 
• Round 13: Knit. 
• Round 14: *K2tog; repeat from * around — 10 sts. 

Finishing

Cut yarn leaving a 6” (15 cm) tail. With yarn needle, draw tail through remaining 10 sts twice, pull tightly and fasten off. Weave in ends. Block lightly. 

Book ~ "The Hitwoman Hunts a Ghost" (2014) J.B. Lynn

From Goodreads ~ Bumbling hitwoman Maggie Lee has discovered the sister she thought was dead might be alive. She’s desperate to find her but all of her bosses are making unreasonable demands. Demands she can’t afford not to meet.

Once again, Delveccio, the chocolate pudding loving mob boss, needs someone whacked.

Her obnoxious boss at her day job insists she intervene on his behalf with her semi-psychic friend, Armani.

And the mysterious organization with the power to put her almost-lover Patrick behind bars has saddled her with an annoying new partner and sent her on a mission that has gone to the dogs.

With the clock ticking, Maggie (along with her snarky lizard, dyslexic Doberman and Southern belle cat) does her best to pull off every job without winding up in jail or dead ... but is her best good enough?

When Maggie was in a car accident, her sister and brother-in-law were killed and Katie, her niece and goddaughter, was left in a coma, which she has come out of but is still in the hospital. Maggie hates working in the call centre of an insurance company but doesn't have the kind of money it takes to keep Katie in the high end hospital. To supplement her income, Maggie has become a reluctant hit woman for a mob boss. She has recently moved back to the bed and breakfast she grew up in, which one of her aunts run, and is living in the basement.

Maggie was approached in the last book that she must do the jobs a stranger she's dubbed "Ms. Whitehat" asks of her or she will reveal information that Maggie doesn't want to be revealed. A white dog named Ghost is lost and Ms. Whitehat has tasked Maggie with finding him or else. In the meantime, her mob boss is demanding that she kill his thieving accountant within the next few days. Two of Maggie's aunts are having issues in their relationships and Armani, her semi-psychic friend is making predictions but no one can figure out what they mean. So Maggie has a lot going on.

This is the sixth in the Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman series (#52 is coming out next month) and I thought it was okay. I wouldn't recommend it as a stand alone. You should read the first ones first as there are many references that will make more sense if you have the background, which isn't really provided here but I think needed.

It's written in first person perspective in Maggie's voice and was humourous at times. I had my doubts about this series when I discovered Maggie can now carry on conversations with Godzilla aka God, Katie's tiny lizard, who Maggie takes care of until Katie recovers, DeeDee, a dog she took in when she killed her owner, and Miss Piss, the cat. It sounds dumb but they are amusing and good friends and confidents to Maggie. I'll carry on and keep reading the series.

Book ~ "The Hitwoman and the Neurotic Witness" (2013) J.B. Lynn

From Goodreads ~ When her apartment building is blown to smithereens, bumbling hitwoman Maggie Lee is forced to move back into the bed & breakfast she grew up in.

Living with her three meddling aunts is bad enough but it just so happens that the B&B is also occupied by a U.S. Marshal, an FBI agent, her old friend Zeke who’s on a mysterious mission, and a woman who claims she can see dead people. These aren’t the kinds of roomies Maggie wants to spend time with, considering that in order to pay for her niece’s medical care she supplements her income by killing people.

​Maggie avoids arrest and deals with a crazier-than-usual home life while trying to track down exactly who is blowing up the holdings of various crime families. To make matters worse, she’s walking a precarious tightrope between keeping her mobster bosses happy and protecting her murder mentor (and almost lover) Patrick Mulligan.

​Aided by the warped predictions of her semi-psychic friend, her sarcastic, demanding talking lizard and an always ravenous dyslexic Doberman, Maggie juggles keeping secrets, unraveling riddles and protecting those she loves. Can she do it all? Or will she suffer yet another unspeakable loss?

When Maggie was in a car accident, her sister and brother-in-law were killed and Katie, her niece and goddaughter, was left in a coma, which she has come out of but is still in the hospital. Maggie works in the call centre of an insurance company and doesn't have the kind of money it takes to keep Katie in the high end hospital she needs to be in. To supplement her income, she has become a reluctant hit woman for a mob boss. 

When Maggie's apartment explodes, she ends up moving back into the bed and breakfast where she grew up, which is currently full with her three aunts, two law-enforcement officers, her sister and Gypsy, a guest who insists she can see dead people. Businesses owned by her mob boss are getting bombed and he suspects police officer Patrick, Maggie's mentor and crush, may be involved so he wants her to kill him. Maggie can't believe Patrick is involved so sets out to find out who is.

This is the fifth in the Confessions of a Slightly Neurotic Hitwoman series (#52 is coming out next month) and I thought it was okay, not as good as the first four. I wouldn't recommend it as a stand alone and you should read the first four first as there are many references in this one that will make more sense if you have the background. I read the first four in February and March (so it's been a while) and it took a while to remember the back stories because they aren't really provided. For example, it's mentioned that Maggie's friend, Armani, is disabled but it's not until further along that we find out how it happened. Or you don't really have Maggie's sister, Marlene's history.

It's written in first person perspective in Maggie's voice and was humourous at times. I had my doubts about this series when I discovered Maggie can now carry on conversations with Godzilla aka God, Katie's tiny lizard, who Maggie takes care of until Katie recovers, DeeDee, a dog she took in when she killed her owner, and Miss Piss, the cat. It sounds dumb but they are amusing and good friends and confidents to Maggie. I'll carry on and keep reading the series.

"Mass (A Spiritual Journey To The Creator Within)", The Theatre Centre, Toronto, ON

I volunteered at Mass (A Spiritual Journey To The Creator Within) tonight at The Theatre Centre (Queen Street W/Dovercourt Road). It was playing last night and tonight. 

MASS is a spiritual journey into the creator within, inspired by the wisdom of the Orisha Obatala and the Buddhist pursuit of inner awakening. This journey elevates our ancestors and roots us in their strength, propelling our growth and transformation. MASS bridges ancestral veneration and self-evolution, merging traditions to guide us toward enlightenment and unity, honoring the past while igniting our spiritual evolution.

Cafe Landwer, Toronto, ON

Trish and I had supper at Cafe Landwer at Yonge/Bloor W. 

Me and Trish

Retail Retrospective, Toronto Reference Library, Toronto, ON

Trish and I checked out the Retail Retrospective exhibit in the TD Gallery at the Toronto Reference Library this evening. It was fun to check out the shopping bags of yesteryear and share the memories they brought back. It’s here until January 11 and free.

Glimpse the retail world of yesterday and celebrate Toronto’s shopping scene through the decades.

Retail Retrospective showcases vintage shopping bags from our Special Collections tracing the history of retailers that defined eras in Toronto. Rediscover the iconic and historic shops that shaped how our city shops today.

Far more than vessels for carrying goods, shopping bags can double as advertisements, status symbols and snapshots of design history. Their physical form can even tell a story—paper or plastic.

Book ~ "The Last Hitman" (2025) Robin Yocum

From Goodreads ~ Once upon a time, being a “made man” meant something. Angelo Cipriani was a member of the inner circle of the Fortuna Crime Family, one of the biggest mafia families in the Ohio Valley. Not that Angelo would ever admit to such an organization even existing, let alone to all of the bodies he dropped for his boss. Angelo even stayed loyal after taking a bullet in the back and winding up in a coma for three months. 

But times have changed. Four decades have passed and the glory days of mob rule have waned. With FBI crackdowns and new rival gangs seizing territory, Angelo finds himself on the outs with the current administration, essentially “on the shelf.” Left with little excitement beyond a crush on the local diner waitress, he does the unthinkable and puts pen to paper, telling his story of coming up, a man of honor in a world that he barely recognizes. 

But Angelo’s reminiscences are rudely interrupted by a visit from the FBI, and the realization that the past is far from dead and buried. Faced with old secrets and fresh betrayals, Angelo finds himself The Last Hitman is ready to get back to work.

This is a story about Angelo, a hitman who is trying to survive a world that has moved on without him. He's is an aging mob enforcer who used to be one of the most trusted guys in the Fortunato crime family. He’s old-school loyal but times have changed. Little Tommy, the new boss, is into dealing drugs rather than hookers and gambling like his late father and late grandfather, and Angelo just doesn’t fit in anymore. He’s being pushed aside and spends his days drinking coffee at a diner, chatting with Carolyn, the waitress he has a crush on, and visiting Nickels, an old friend in a nursing home, who is out of it on meds most of the time. Not exactly the thrilling mob life he once had. Everything shifts when the FBI shows up and pressures him to talk. Suddenly Angelo has to choose ... stay loyal to a crime family that no longer respects him or work with the feds and risk becoming a target.

I enjoyed this book. I've read a few books by this author and have liked them. I liked the writing style of this one and it was surprisingly humorous at times. Angelo had done some really bad things in his day (and was looking forward to continuing to do so) but I found him likable. Being in the mob and loyal to "the boss" was all he knew and he was having a hard time staying loyal to Little Tommy, who was a scumbag. One thing I did have trouble believing is that Carolyn, knowing what he was, didn't have an issue with what he'd done in his past and would continue to do given the chance. The ending leaves things open that there could be a sequel. As a head's up, there is swearing and violence.