Wednesday, June 17, 2009

When there's no baby ... and no regrets

I used to have this as a magnet ... I wonder what happened to it.

I've always known that I didn't want to have children.

I've read books on birth order and this is a common feeling among first borns (which I am). They were stuck (sorry, Sister Sarah) taking care of their younger brothers and sisters so feel like they have already had the responsibility of raising a family.

Antonia Zerbisias talks about women not having children in her column today, When there's no baby ... and no regrets.

Here is a snippet towards the end ...

... a 21-year-old pregnant Brampton mother complained that her doctor refused to sterilize her after she delivers her second child. His reason? She may change her mind later.

I know all about that!

I've been seeing the same doctor for about 20 years. In my twenties during my check-ups, I talked to her about getting my tubes tied. And she kept saying no because I was still young and I'd change my mind. The summer I turned thirty, we had the same discussion yet again and she finally agreed to send me to a gynecologist.

The gynecologist agreed to do it but not until October (three months away) because she was giving time to change my mind.

I got my tubes tied as planned and I've never ever regretted this decision.

Some may call me selfish but I enjoy my life. I like having the freedom to do whatever I want and I never pictured kids as being part of it.

10 comments:

Sue said...

I wish more women would be honest about their feelings on children, and not just have them because they think that is what they are expected to do. Kudos to you for following the right path for yourself! :)

Teresa said...

I agree with the first comment. Children are not for everyone and to have one just to please someone else would not end up being a happy life for everyone involved.

Tammy said...

It was the youngest in my family decided he didn't want children. He got snipped and no doctor gave him a hard time about it. Why is it that it's easier for a man to get it done then a woman?

Not just a Mommy! said...

Hi there, thanks for the blog love! And good for you to know what you want to do with your life; some people don't think about what a major decision having children is, and all the work it involves, and once you have one, there are no returns. I know a few women who had no business having children.... :(

Sarah said...

Don't worry about offending me re. your comment about looking after your younger siblings! I'm sure you took good care of me when you had to (although I don't remember).

Rachel Aramith said...

I think its great that you made the decision on how YOU felt, and not what everyone else thought you may or may not want to do!

Haley-O said...

This was really interesting Teena. GREAT post. It's true about first borns, I think. I never wanted kids growing up. But, my parents really groomed me otherwise. I'm happy I did, of course! But, I definitely understand choosing not to have kids. I'm really happy you're happy with this big decision!

I decided to STOP at 2 kids! And I KNOW I am done. My ObGYN insisted on 3 months waiting time for tubes tying, too - so must be procedure. But I think we're going with the big SNIP SNIP.... ;)

Paula said...

Thanks for your visit to my blog. I read this article and the other that you mentioned, I'm glad that I did because I know a feel people that don't have kids as choice, I do love kids but after two years of married my choice was to do not have a baby and at that time my family and friends didn't understand my decision... I don't regreat at all
Paula

Janet Jarrell said...

Insightful read for me, thank you. It makes me think about my oldest sister...and my oldest daughter - same same but different.

Lady Banana said...

I think it's very brave and sensible that you made this decision.. In no way selfish whatsoever!